.. It was him, he began to talk rude with her, as he asked her "excuse me to get nasty nigga all over you". Shelly gave him a curious look, and told him just to watch where he is going, but he knew where he was going, and she was coming to. just up the path was the parking lot, and trees all around so know one was seem to be insight, as he carried her his large SUV was on the end of the trail, and within moments, she was inside with no one to call to. she asked him if he stole this car? as he replied, NO, this is mine, why would you accuse me of theft. you a racists? NO shelly blurted, but thoughts crossed her mind she may appear to be looking as if she were? he explained to her how he comes down and feeds the homeless in the mornings, and gives them supplies. (At this point i will become Shelly describing that morning) I questioned why he stared at me all the time, and he said because i heard him call him a nasty nigga, and wondered why? I looked at him, and he was well dressed. Though my life was now vacant of moral purpose, the thought of turning to hedonism was eminently loathsome. My chastity wasn't just a moral creed; it was a way of life. It was who I was. Religion or not, I couldn't change my entire self image at will. Years of teasing and the fortitude gained from facing my mother's illness had forced me to develop a bizarre pride in my perceived frigidity. Despite the derision, I simply couldn't bear to be thought of any other way. It was the core of my self identity. When you spend so long telling yourself you are a better person than the people around you, the humiliation of admitting defeat is intolerable. Unfortunately for my principles, my womanly ardor grew every year. I was masturbating twice a day nearly every day. Sometimes I would spend entire weekends locked in my house sucking my own nipples and worshiping my plastic master. I was finally forced to compromise with my standards and laid out a plan. I would never let any of my friends from.
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